The Speed Dating Guidelines.

I recall talking about this with my girlfriend, Toots. It was some time last year when she brought up the issue of speed dating.

How do we go about it?

Do we need to go in with the intention of getting ourselves a man, or two..or we should join just for the fun of it. To be honest, my idea of fun doesn't really include giving a crash course of myself within a span of 5 minutes and repeating the same excruciating process again for the next few hours. Or to convince a guy that I'm the one that they are looking for. It's tiring enough to convince a guy that you fancy or in a relationship with, how do you tackle such issue for a few minutes with a complete stranger?

But that's me I guess. I was already taken aback by the speed dating approach when she first explained on how it works. Come to think of it, am not a good sport really. Hehe. BUT!! I was willing to accompany her if she decides to join the speed dating "fun".

We talked further about how we should strategise the whole interview bit. How do we get to know a man within that 5 minutes span, grab the attention and make some impact.

So I laid out the OSI Model Plan.

Open System Interconnection model, also known as OSI is basically a standard or protocol used to sub dividing the communication/networking system into several different layers. Basic Communication 101. Ok that's that. I'm not going to explain about the protocols because; first -I have totally forgotten about it; second - who cares anyway. We are here to talk and understand about what can be sampled from this Model for our 5 minutes speed dating rules.

Ok, the OSI Model, the old one; contains 7 layers of which within each layer, one or more entities implement its functionality. Refer to the diagram below.


Well, we talked about this and decided that it was just too complicated to adopt this concept and make it work for 5 minutes. So we decided to combine few things that are supposed to work together for this exercise and came up with this guideline.


i. Physical Layer.

We admit that we are a bunch of shallow people. For any equipment to communicate with each other, physical connection must be in place. More so for mere mortal like us. Physical attraction is of course the most crucial aspect of this exercise. There's no point of going to the next level if we can't bear the sight of our err prospect let alone sharing our personal information with him. First 10 seconds should be used to scan physical attributes that make them stand out from the rest..If there's nothing much that we can work with, one should consider to spend the next 4 minutes and 50 seconds to try to get away from that awkward 'interfaces'.

ii. Data Link / Network.

This is pretty much about his career and his affiliations. Does he bear any sort of title to his name like Dr, Ir, YM, ABC, WTF and etc. Scan his business card discreetly if he hands it out to you. Listen carefully - if he name drops any known celebrities, VIPs, VVIPs every now and then when he talks about his achievements or the lack of it. Of course, people think that this should not be an issue, money is never an issue. But hey, you are not there in search of starving artist or a poor poet. Be realistic. You can't expect to be fed with poem when you are hungry. I'm just saying.

The thing about this is, it boils down to your preference. You want his money and his associations, or you want his money but you also want him humble. At my age, when a man talks about how much he makes, he is just being cheesy and I don't really fancy cheese.

iii. Transport.

Self explanatory. He must at least own a car eh? But if you prefer to date someone that spends half of his time saving the planet by taking the public transportation, be my guest.

iv. Session and Presentation.

It is all about image. Baggy jeans, oversized jersey, cap pull backward screams lame or stuck-in-the-moment-he-can't-get-out-of. If he took the time to look presentable for the session, he must worth some sort of acknowledgement from you. But if he looks better than you (and you are looking your best that night) you might consider the possibility that he carries a man bag everywhere as well. Judge the book from its cover. Because what ever that he is covering can be judged through his appearances. ;)

Last but not least;

v. Application.

This would only come to play when you have decided to hand over more than just your number. Application and performance are the only two aspects left for you to consider whether he is worthy of your future headache and sorrows. Set your standard high because low expectation is easily achieved. ;)


So there you go. The adaptation of speed dating rules based on OSI 7 Layers Model, courtesy of Lina and Toots. Have fun and don't be too naughty.

p/s: Whether we have realised this or not, all of us are guilty of using the same method to gain access to a friendship or relationship.

Some sense of Decency.

I'm contemplating about raising this issue because I wouldn't want to be seen or called as insensitive jerk and what not.

But here it goes..

I'm always against PDA - Public Display of Affection. It is not so much about being on a higher pedestal of moral conduct, but it creates an uneasy feeling and can't help but to feel ashamed when you encounter with one. (oh well maybe it is just me). The affectionate display between you and your spouse should have some limitation when you are out in public. Of course we are not talking about holding hands or a quick peck on the cheek but full blown French kiss with squeezing or caressing. Uneasy is one thing, but when you doing it wrong and rather raunchy, it is just disturbing.

You want to be indecent in your own private place or behind closed door, that is totally up to you. I have nothing against it.

Then comes the breastfeeding in public.

How should I put this? Yes, we understand the need to feed the newborn baby every few hours and am sure most mothers could vouch that the connection between mother and their baby is an out-of-this-world experience, but doing it in public? No matter how much you are trying to cover your tops as appropriately as possible, for me, it is just not appropriate enough.

I've seen young mothers doing this in the shopping mall, at the park and other public places with careless conduct. I even asked my mother about this and she said, never once she lifted up her tops in front of strangers or relatives to feed any one of us. For her, there's a place that she can do it comfortably and it is called "home". Privacy is the main key here.

If you really really really need to get the hell out of your house and taking the baby with you, doing shopping or whatever, I suggest that you find somewhere secluded with not so many people to do this business. I think all the shopping malls' ladies are now well equipped and their management actually provide facilities for this. Heck, they even provide comfy sofas for it.

Just think about it. Popping out the breast (even if it is used to feed a baby) will attract unwanted attention from all walks of life and most importantly, it makes people cringe!

I wonder how the husband would feel like seeing the wife breastfeeding his baby in public? Because whenever I saw a mother breastfeeding a child, I didn't actually see any glimpse of the husband standing/sitting besides her or anywhere nearby.

I'm just saying.

Think : Imitation is the best form of flattery.

Photo credit to Mr.Snots. Summer night in Sweden.

When I first heard of this phrase,"Your eyes are the windows to your soul", I seriously think that who ever came up with that was totally delusional. I can never tell whether people are being sincere or lying to my face just by looking at their eyes. The only thing that I would probably notice about their eyes is how captivating it can be.

You also can't obviously think of me as a very nice, warm loving person just by looking at my eyes, or that I do charity, and feed the homeless or carry grocery bags for old aunties. Right? But of course none of these are true. I am quite selfish and a bit self-centred at times. Then again, if you have been living your life alone for so long, why would you want to care or bother of what's going on with other people.

Talking about other people, there are countless type of people out there with different needs and views on life. You might have encountered some few annoying ones, good ones, or sometimes the ones you would love to emulate or imitate in life.

On that note, I once dressed up with a cap pull backwards, baggy jeans with an awesome soldier belt (because they had this camouflage print) and also my oversized t-shirt because I thought it was cool to be like TLC, especially T-Boz and Left-Eye. LOL. I also had multicoloured handyplast plastered on my face and on my hand because it was deemed up-to-date.

There's this time when I basically had NKOTB posters on my bedroom wall and was dancing to Linear's saving all my love.. saving all my love to you...., I cut my hair short and put on so much of hair gel and hair spray, I had caused the thinning of the ozone, above the path I had walked on. It was even cool to be a boy for a girl like me. Lucky I didn't end up being a lesbian. (not that I have anything against them, I'm just saying you know). I even put on a choreographed performance (each of us was in character, I think I was Jordan Knight haha) with my "gang" in school during the Teacher's day and boy, they were so lame, they really loved it. We were freaking lame as well, because we wore torn jeans and a black leather jacket. LOL.

Then I came to know a bunch of skateboarders and listened to RHCP, Ugly Kid Joe and etc. Now I remember that we were divided into 2 groups of skaters back then; those who listened to rap/hip hop music. This group was further classified into 2 subgroups - east side and west side. How freaking ghetto is that? We had Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G wannabes. The other group, the rest of the brat pack, those (like me) who listened to rock/alternative rock songs that were on the rise back then. We donned the skinny jeans, t-shirts and the hi-tops shoes.LOL. This fashion has made a comeback, and now we have a bunch of teenagers with this fashion sense who associates themselves with all things Indie.

Growing up, one transformation after another took centre stage in my life, every time I discovered something new that I can totally relate to, or something I think I would want to become, or ought to be.

Luckily for me, at the end of my journey in search for so-called self identity (somewhere when I was 15), I reverted to my all time favourite; jeans, t-shirt and anything that I feel like wearing without putting any constraints on me - my comfortable self.

Since that point of time, I never had any urge to follow any trend, be it music, fashion, accessories and others.

These external changes influenced my image, my song choices, friends I mingled with, but deep inside I always feel the same. All I ever cared about was finishing up school so that I don't have to wake up way too early in the morning, my sports activities and try not to get on the parents' nerves because, this you guys have to agree with me, when they were much younger they were really mean and roarrr arrgghh *shows claws*, merciless towards us.

But life was so much awesome nonetheless.

Sew Myself Shut.

Photo: Enjoying the sun.

Photo: A nice lady feeding the lil birds on a bright sunny autumn day.

I have a tendency to keep everything to myself. Something that should be out in the open, sometimes is left unspoken until it is forgotten. I have an attention span of a 5 year old, and a memory of a flushed-down-the-toilet goldfish. Things that have been forgotten will not be recalled or remembered until it is triggered by some tragic incident. Most of the time, none of it will ever be remembered at all.

I don't blame it on the ageing factor, or for having too much of interesting things to remember. My incapacity of remembering anything started since I was very small and my life ain't that interesting. I think it is somewhat due to the fact that, I am able to block any undesirable experience at the blink of an eye and can easily pretend like nothing ever happened. So, for having to process so many "hide" function for the past 31 years of my life, my brain can't differentiate between manual intervention and auto clean-up anymore. It basically disconnect everything that seems insignificant.

I have a lot of things that I have been meaning to say to a couple of people about a couple of stuff, but somehow I feel like there's an invisible hand holding me back from pouring my heart out. One shitty fact about me is, I can never find the best or suitable word to describe any of my resentments, sentiments and predicaments. I'm easily misunderstood. *sigh*. So I rather keep my mouth shut than to say something totally out of context or or could bring any sort of confusion towards other people.

Bitter truth.

I have always been in a relationship. I've started my journey very young and every time I fell out of it, I picked myself up, and believe that my Mr.Right is somewhere out there. Although sometimes Mr.Right ended up being Mr.Right Now, but as they cleverly put it, it isn't so much about the destination, but the journey towards reaching it.

I had my first boyfriend when I was just 10. We were in the same circle of friends and both of us played hockey for our school. Funny to think about it now, because having a boyfriend back then was just a school girl's way of making a statement and something to brag about. He didn't serves much function/purpose in my life and vice versa. Nevertheless, I had one at the mere age of 10.

I moved on to another boy a year after, to another one not long after, and the other one right after, until I met (who I thought back then) the ONE. Since both of us were in a different situation and under some circumstances (being a bit older and whatnot) it lasted for 12 years. The breakup shattered my heart in gazillion pieces and at that point, I never thought that I would be able to make it whole again.

Then I met Mr.Snots. It has been two years, and we are still together.

The recap of my journey in search of unconditional love is not because I want to portray or make anyone think of myself as someone who can easily get a man. What I want to uncover is the side of me that I think hasn't changed since I started this journey, 21 years ago.

I have always wanted the same thing. A partner who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.

Some people had it easy - fall in love, get married, build family and fall prefectly (or unperfectly but still) into the sequence of events that usually follow suit. Unfortunately, am not one of those people. I don't know how to take my relationship to the next level. Most of the relationship resolutions will dissolves itself without any further action from me.

I'm actually scared to bring up anything about "marriage". Although it had been conveyed every once in a while, but I was more scared than excited when talking about it. I think I was afraid that I have to face the possibility and the probability of it not happening, and I think I still am.

You see, it is not that I want to get married tomorrow but this thing will always be at the back of my head. It will be nice if I could talk comfortably about it.

The only thing that I can tell my mom is that I'm not thinking about it, every time she asks me about my future/relationship. The truth is, I lied.

Work from Home(town).

I love this picture. It was taken by a friend of mine, candidly. Didn't notice the love symbol carved on the wooden door before the photo was captured. It turned out great though. I was sitting because was too tired from too much of walking LOL.

I'm planning to go back to my hometown this weekend. Since it has been a long time since I last went back, I applied for another 3 days of leave next week so that I can extend my stay a bit longer. I will be packing my work stuff with me because although the idea of spending time with my parents and aunties, doing nothing ;except for endless talking and eating; is my top priority, but *sigh* work is work and deadline is just a bitch. I'm still struggling to finish reading all the SIRIM standards to come up with a report. That book is like a sleeping pill, every time I open it, I fell asleep.

So my mom asked me yesterday, is Mr.Snots tagging along this time around? Much to her dismay, I said no. I know that she's probably wondering why on earth that, I've been with this dude for 2 years but everyone in the family (except for my brother who is living with me) only met him once. I don't know how to explain this to everyone. The situation is a bit different with this one because every time we make an arrangement to go back home to meet the parents, that usually means that we meet our OWN parents at our OWN hometown, separately.LOL.

I always believe in this perception about doing things (certain things pertaining family) separately. If you are involved in a committed relatioship; married or unmarried; you can and should be able to still spend time with your family without your other half. There's no such thing as - if I go back to my parents' you must come as well or else - kinda arrangement. You don't have to follow me every where I go.

Also, the problem about being single for too long is, you have somewhat developed these routine "activities" that you do together with your family every time you (in this case, it is totally me) go back home. Like I would want to take my mom and auntie out shopping, and take her anywhere she wants to go. I also think that they would be more comfortable talking to me about "family" issues alone, without my bf nearby. But of course, there's always time allocated for family, time for relationship and most importantly for both, probably at the same time , next time.LOL. Just need to make a bit of arrangement every now and then, so that everything is well balanced and everyone is happy.

Lost and Found II

It takes quite an effort to produce a well organised and constructed post about programming codes, I tell ya. I am about half way done compiling the code and with all the print-screens but still I don't think it is sufficient and it will never pass as a good post. So, until I am fully satisfied with the content and be really sure that people who reads it will understand what I was trying to show them, I will work on it some more.

Tomorrow, Mr.Snots and I will scout around for tables. I need a small yet nice console table for that little work space I have created for me in my apartment. It is right at the corner of my living room. Just perfect. I can watch the TV and do work at the same time. I hate to work in a quiet and empty room. I need some background music or anything that I could immediately turn to whenever I’m bored with my work; like watching TV or DVDs.

I found these two pictures and am not sure whether I had published (uploaded for friends to see of course) or not. And am just too lazy to check on facebook either.

Crystal Mosque in Kuala Terengganu.

Picture of a subway tunnel somewhere in Belgium (if am not mistaken)

I took thousands of pictures, some might be overlooked during the selection/editing time. But am sure I got a lot more hidden somewhere in that "ALL JUMBLED UP PHOTOS" folder of mine. But one thing for sure, I do have a lot of photos of the sky with all sort of clouds formations. *scratches head*..I must have loved looking at the sky before, but I must stress that I rather work indoor nowadays; less sun exposure, less rashes to scratch.

Egged Out!

Can't help but to be totally egged out now that everyone with nuffnang sponsored ad is currently doing their bit promoting whatzername egg. Can things get more original than this? ;)

I bet Toots would love this. The last time we had an outing she ate like 3 eggs in one seating!!

Junk or Treasure?

Well, it is true that one's junk could be another's treasure..and nowadays, it comes with a price tag.

I have came across so many preloved websites, or blogs that offer their "old seldom used" stuff, or "impulse purchase" at a dirt cheap price. Ok it is reasonable if they offer you their designer's handbags that you can't afford to buy directly from the boutique even if it is on 50% sale; given that it is in good condition, well maintained, comes with the dust bag and a warranty card; but old used clothes? I don't want to be presumptuous to say that people are surely desperate for money or being judgemental, but I think it is better to give it away than to sell it for RM5 or RM10.

There are still a lot of poor people out there that could use a set of new clothes or two; and am sure by doing that you help to put a smile on their face too.

When I was young, every year my dad would collect our old but still wearable clothes and took it with him to work. Since his work required him to travel to the very nook and cranny of my hometown, so whenever he came across a poor family especially the ones with many small children, he would approach the family and gave them our clothes. He even once took me to that area and asked me to give it to them myself and since I was really young, stupid and selfish, I couldn't appreciate it as much because at that point of time I think all that I care about was either this girl or that boy would end up wearing my t-shirts, of which some of them I still fancy.

Nowadays, from time to time, we still collect our old clothes and ask my uncle to give it to anyone who needs it. I guess my dad's act of kindness has influenced him to carry on with the good deed all these years. He will make sure that we don't give out anything that would look better in a thrash bin rather than on people and still in good condition to at least hold well for few months if not years.

I know there are organisations out there that provide temporary storage and collect clothes, food, baby supplies and other stuff and would then help to disseminate these collections to those in need.All you have to do is to google them.

I’m not so much of a big charity drive person nor would I organise any charity event, but I guess whatever that we could contribute in making this world a bearable place for them to live in, means something.

Conversion.

I woke up late this morning because the alarm clock was not ringing. I have yet to confirm that theory though, because I haven’t checked the alarm function yet. But there’s a major possibility that I didn’t set the alarm in the first place or I dismissed it unconsciously.

Mr. Snots is in Stockholm right now, probably wandering around aimlessly; exactly like when he was in Amsterdam; or searching for an open air market or shop that sells water colour paintings and talk with the painters/artists for hours exchanging views on their passion for art and their favourite subject that most probably revolves around horses, boats and sceneries. I guess he wants to transform his condo into an art gallery or something. What ever that strikes your fancy, honey; as long as you are happy. I just hope that he got me those fridge magnets I’ve asked for. Talk about how easy it is to please a woman eh.

We chatted until almost 4a.m this morning, hence the excuse for my half-day emergency leave.

Ok.That’s that.

Regarding this blog; I have this plan going circle in my head for quite some time now. The plan is that I want to transform this blog into a “techy/geeky” blog and post about what I do best, Application Development and all things IT/System Integration. I’ve started this dotNET journey with zero knowledge, and now I can safely say that I’ve emerged a “hero” or somewhat (talking about an inflating ego the size of a planet). I have gained and learned so much from other developers through their weblogs and their contributions in the forums, I want to pay it forward.

I will share whatever that I have learned (anything that I have managed to get it to work to my advantage, my cheat-sheet, my little code manipulation tricks, things that I have successfully tweaked, from the simplest of example to the most complex algorithm) through out my journey with all the newbies searching for fast solutions and help in this area. I do hope that when they search for that certain keywords, they will be diverted to this blog and they can get something out of my post; exactly like how I started. I was like a virtual scavenger rummaging through piles of garbage before I found what I was searching for.

But I wouldn’t want this blog to be entirely geeky though. This is my space, where I share that little passions that I have in my life; my work, my friendships, my hobbies, my rants and all the things that mattered to me. I would probably label and organise it properly so that people won’t get lost and get confused.

But first, I need to get rid of all the historical posts and delete all the unnecessary. I need to make the layout more user-friendly; I don’t want it to look so depressing anymore. Enough with that already, if I got tired of it myself, I am sure people who stumbled across this blog would think that I’m suicidal or something.

So, here's to a new beginning. *cheers*

Waking up early is not really an ideal way to kickstart my day, ever since I was a wee toddler. You will probably think with all that years spent waking up in the morning for schools and classes, by now I should be able to wake up as early as 6 a.m. I guess my mom had a couple of tricks up her sleeves because somehow she managed to pull me off bed, bathed me, clothed me and sent me off too school with me still very much in my slumber. Most of the time, I only realised that I was awake when I was already in my school compound. Even now, every now and then, I'd be on an auto-cruise mode. Tiba-tiba dah sampai ofis; bila bangun, bila mandi and jalan mana ikut gi ofis pun tak perasan.

But seriously, I have no freaking idea why I can't bring myself up that early. Tried it and failed miserably at it.

If Mr.Snots let me sleep in by not calling me too early in the morning just to spite me (smses tak jalan) during the weekend, my body alarm will automatically wake me up at 10a.m.

This brings me to the next section in this crappy post; so every day for the past 7 years of my working life, I have been deprived of sleep for hmm, let me calculate.


Bangun tido at 7 the latest, so 10 -7 = 3 hours

3 (deprived hours of sleep/day) x 260 (working days/year) x 7 (years)
= 5460 deprived hours of sleep.

From the calculation above, we can see that it is only fair that tuan punya badan, should be compensated with 5460/24 = 227.5 days of leave for this 7 years that she has been slaving around working for this company.

With that much leave days in hand, I think I want to pack my bag and hmmm go travelling. The cheapest way of course; backpacking and stuff.

Why am I talking about this again? Owh yeah, I was just wondering what should or will I do if I was given a year off because my friend has just started working after being in sabatical leave for a year.

Since taking a sabatical is akin to killing your career in Meleisia, so verangans lah. At least until I manage to devise an ingenious plan on how to trick your company in giving you your deserving sabatical leave.

Imagination. Berangan. Tada salahnya.

But ntah-ntah a year off work in this office, will cause me to pile up on side projects pulak. Or silap-silap take up knitting, or sewing.

One thing for sure, I will replace balik all the missing hours of my ensem sleep.

I was doing my annual splean clinging (sic), or to all the normal people out there with normal tongue; spring cleaning; yesterday to toss out some of the unnecessary things that had been piling up all these years in the storage room.

While I was filtering through every single things, I found a couple of pictures and letters from my past relationship. It's funny to think about it now, because if I were to discover these stuff back then, when I was still in devastation, I would probably cry my eyes out. But yesterday, I felt different. I was actually laughing and thought that my past relationship was really naive and innocent, (well maybe because that pictures were taken when we were about 18 or 19 years old, of course we looked naive and innocent). But that's not the point.

The point is, I had moved on. I no longer feel all hung up on my past. I let it passed, and I've passed it. I tore up the pictures and threw away the letters, and filled up my nice lil boxes with new love letters from Mr.Snots.

I felt rejuvenated. I felt relieved. As if a big burden had been lifted off my shoulder. I always knew that I no longer feel anything for him and that whatever that I have with Mr.Snots is what I've always wanted in a relationship; The bond, the attention, the things that we share, the trust (still working on that, apparently it is really hard to establish a trust); But the reassurance that came unexpectedly in a form of crumbled papers in dirty old boxes, relieved me from my past.

You know what they say about this, yesterday had passed and today is what matters now, it's a gift that need to be cherished, that is why they call it present (or some shit like that).

Why I do this.

I've been cutting down my expenditure due to the economic crisis. Really.

I've set up a to-do list, and also manage some financial planning and expenditure scheme, to help me stick with it, just in case I forget or stray away from my future plan of having a financial freedom (ewah!).

So what are the things that I've managed well for the past one month?

1. I no longer buy expensive coffee (starbucks, coffee bean and etc). I save up RM45 per week, because I usually spent close to RM15 for the grande sized coffee atleast 3 times a week.

2. Limit my expenditure to what is necessary. I list everything out, and prioritise it according to its importance. So instead of buying mineral bottled water from the hypermarket , somewhere around RM12/12bottles 1.5L x 2 (RM24) per every month, I would masak air sendiri before tidur, and top up the bottle bila dah sejuk the next morning.

3. Changed all my light bulbs in my apartment to energy saving bulbs. I spent more on the upfront, but hopefully it will provide me with a high ROI in terms of electricity bills.

4. I don't wear "branded" (middle range) stuff anymore. No more online shopping for Victoria Secret undies/undergarments, no more ZARA jeans (well I restrict my ZARA jeans purchase to 1 helai setahun, during bonus time). For shoes, I love Clarks because it is comfortable and it usually lasts me longer than any other shoes. But my craving for shoes is restricted to only 1 Clarks every year, or until I wore the old one out (which ever comes first). Untuk kasut kerja, I found one store that offers superb collection with low price. SUMMIT. Freaking comfortable and you can send your shoes back if rosak and they fix it for you for free!!! Get the member card RM15 for 2 years, and you'll get 15% off for normal purchase, and if there's a sale, 15% off on top of the reduced price. Baju, back to FOS and Padini Chain Store. For padini, since the cycle of their collection is really fast, I don't purchase my baju kerja at normal price or new arrivals, but tunggu sebulan, then they'll give 50% or maybe 70% off during the clearance.

5. For handbags, I made a promise to myself that I will use all the bags that I currently own; all the purchases from Paris and around Europe (which is more than a year dah) and Bangkok; sampai sekarang ada yang belum pakai. No more purchase sampai semua koyak rabak.

6. Before this, I spent almost RM100/month on my reading materials; books and magazines. Women Health, Easy Living, Apartment, Glamour UK and all those fabulous imported mags. But now, I buy them one month late. It makes no different really, except that I get to purchase it at RM9 per mag some even RM5, because it is outdated and the store need to clear it out asap. Favourite mag store - Sun Mag @ Cineleisure. Books; tunggu warehouse clearance.

7. Store canned and dry goods. Like mee hoon, spagetti, all kinds of pasta, sardines etc, so that if am at home, and I am hungry, I can just cook something simple and filling. Tak payah keluar beli or buat delivery. I've been doing that for almost a month now, and it works. I hardly spent more than RM50 for food every week during workdays. Now, my mission is to make and pack my own breakfast / lunch to the office.

8. I want to learn how to bake. Nak buat cookies and keep it in a jar, and belajar nak buat bread (Still trying to mintak Along to sponsor me my breadmaker, so mahal tak mampu beli sendiri). So bila my niece and Mr.Snots (both are known to be avid snacking creatures) datang, we don't need to buy tonnes of snacks. It will be healthier too. Both need that extra nutrition because those two babies are still growing. Hehe.

9. I have this small irritating and membazir habit of letting the tap running when I'm in the kitchen or in the bathroom. Sebab pemalas nak bukak tutup air. Sekarang dah tak buat dah. Although the bill was never more than RM20, basically free, but it is just a bad habit.

10. Buy perishable items when necessary. Beli bila nak masak. Instead of simpan lama-lama and bila tak pakai, then ended up buang.

11. Spending lesser time at the shopping malls actually help me to curb my shopping habit to the extreme. I was never a crazed shopper pun, cuma I usually spend money unnecessarily. Now, I only go if I need to buy something, or nak tengok wayang.

Honestly, I know am not so much of a big spender before, but I never think that I can actually save up more than I ever did. All I need to do is to control and monitor my spending habit.

So proud.

It's 1.44 AM and I am still wide awake.

Normally I would go to sleep somewhere around 10.30 to 11 PM and most of my friends know that I'd be cranky if I don't go to sleep on time.

But that has certainly changed now hasn't it?

I have just finished working on an assignment for the Business Management Course for my quite-close-but-not-that-close friend who is also my ex-clerk yang currently taking up a part time Bachelor Degree Course in OUM.

I have been helping him out with assignments for the past 2 years; mainly on assignments that require much research and analysis; because I know for the fact that he can't manage to do all the homeworks that have been assigned to him and to complete it on time.

He is almost 35 years old, married with 5 kids. I'm obliged to help him. I want to help him. Why? Simply because he is a good man, and he had strived his way up to where he is now by being patience and nice to everyone around him.

When he started working, he had no high school qualification or whatsoever. A drop-out. Now he is already half way of completing his degree. If that is not aspiring then I do not know what else is.

He is a hardworking man, in my opinion, it is just that sometimes he can't juggle too many things at one go. Well, it is given that man totally sucks at multitasking innit?

Alah, lagipun not all the assignments that I have been helping him with is really that hard to complete. Some might requires me to spend more time than I usually do on research and reading, but then nothing beats the rush I have inside of me on learning new things, something that is out of my comfort zone and territory. It is a good exposure I may add, because I've always wanted to do my MBA and working on his assignments and from all the research I've done, I think I can do well if not great.

Being an engineer my whole working life, my brain has been trained to think structurally, calculatively and imaginatively (not artsy fartsy imagination but the fact that we learn things that we can't see or touch like the flow of electric current, electromagnetic field, F=M*A , A=(v-u)/t and all those engineering stuff) so it was always difficult for me to churn out big , pseudo intelligent words ;) and also business jargons to describe and to elaborate on all things business and management. Hell, I can't properly goreng and make my gorengness believable even when I was doing my karangan.

But now, I can proudly say that I can goreng a bit. Not really THAT good, but at least when people ask me about the concept of management and whatnots, I won't sound too dumb or look blurred. Kan?

Kene bunyi pandai walaupun tak berapa sangat.

I think this year alone, I have acquired more knowledge and pick up a few new stuff in comparison with past years. Ok lah not bad. Probably my next target is to read one technical book a month. (Tiru this habit from my ex-Deputy Chief Engineer and he is so knowledgeable and basically considered an expert in anything)

Sounds boring eh? But I don’t know. Just a plan anyway. If tak jalan, then just cover a few chapters is good enough. Just for a refresher course, so that the neurons in my brain could store and hold on to the information longer.

Gosh am so hungry. It’s time to find something to eat, and force myself to sleep. It is going to be a long day tomorrow.

Good nite.

Sometimes, when you think everything is going fine, things start to fall apart again. It is weird on how every elements that contributed in making you happy before are now going against you.

Sometimes, when I look at all those little kids running around screaming in the shopping mall, I always ask myself whether I’m capable of being a good mother.

How does it feels like having little ones at home waiting eagerly for you to come back from work, and hoping that you would bring back something for them.

I know I'm not so much of a perfect example if I were to be one, but am sure at some point in life that thought crosses their mind; at least before they are blessed with their little ones.

Life has been so weird lately. There are so much of things happening within a short period of time, I'm not sure whether I should be grateful or should I be scared of what's ahead of me. I know that life is unpredictable like that; but when it keeps on throwing you that curveball, you can’t help to wonder what the hell is wrong?!!!

I also can't freaking grasp the ideal way of how I should live my life. I know I have been telling people that I want to live my life as I want to; but I don't exactly know how. Should I have a plan? Should I live it dangerously? Or meticulously?

If the answer is yes for any of the questions above, then I guess am screwed.

I don't exactly have a plan. I don't actually take risk. (Not willingly at least). Most of the plans I have somehow always seems to revolve around places to eat or clothes to wear.

I want to be able to have something to look forward to; and at this point of time I don’t have any of that.

Work has been so fucked up. I have been telling Mr.Snots that every time I step into the office, I would immediately feel the stress pounding on me. My shoulder would feel strained, and I always end up with migraine at the end of the day.

The weather is so damn screwed. I can’t stand the heat wave; and sometime it makes me feel like killing someone. It is weird that I was known to be a beach bum and I can blardy stand the scorching hot sun burning my skin; but now I can’t even lie down on the sand for too long because I’d get burnt real bad plus rashes. Everything is taking its 180 turn on me.

and;

On mother's day, I was asked to watch this one Hindi Movie titled 'Taare Zameen Par' on Channel ZEE by Mr. Snots (hehe i know) about a dyslexic kid; and through out the movie, I was crying like mad. I was a mess. I guess, I'm still my father's daughter because he would cry also if he watches Hindi movies, especially the oldies.

I'm going off to Phuket tomorrow. So play nice.

I suck at finding a matching and catchy title for my blog entry. From now on, it will be deemed irrelevant and unimportant. Why bother when people can just read the entry straight away.

Twisted Tongue.

I have a difficulty in pronouncing certain catchy phrases in English. Especially the ones that could twist your tongue to the extreme.

Like this one;

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

Usually it came out as;

Si shell si shell by the si sor.

Retard. I know.

I can't even pronounce Fish Sauce properly. It came out as Pis Chos instead.

Or;

She saw a saw under the see-saw.

U get the drift right?

My tongue would go numb everytime I have to pronounce the letter S or H, or S and H together in the same word, or S and H within the same sentence.

Cilakak betul.

And since Mr.Snots has somewhat realised this, he would bug me until kingdom comes.

"Dear dear, please make my day and pronounce Fish Sauce! Cepat!"

Bongok!

Tertinggal Keretapi, Katebang, Bot dan Sampan.

Shot was taken in Putrajaya Power Plant, formerly known as Serdang Power Plant.

Banyaknya benda yang jadik masa aku tade idea nak update apa. Aku terlebih malas sebenarnya. Punyalah malas, sampai aku dah janji nak masak spagetti utk Mr.Snots, pun boleh tarik balik. Tak ker keji. Sib baiklah dia tuh baik. Kalaulah aku jadik BF aku sure aku dah tinggalkan aku. Dahlah pemalas, nak bangun pagi pun susah.

Apa-apa pun alasan, satu benda yang paling kecoh sekali ialah bila blog dah jadik padang sasar, tempat mengutuk dan mengeji. *Takut*. Kalau salah langkah, boleh masuk gaung. Nyaya. Banyak istilah keji yang aku belajar dari baca blog panas tuh. Banyak benda yang tak pernah tahu, tetiba leh jadik subject matter expert, sebab information overloaded. Baca entry tuh kira setakat baca mukadimah jer, all the raunchy details semua leh dapat dari baca komen. Terus aku boleh mengaku yang aku kenal betul si simpolan bin simpolan tuh. Walaupun sebenarnya tidak. Hehe. Kelakar pun ada; walaupun aku rasa sometimes melampau tahap cipan gaklah cacian orang-orang yang memberi komen. Bukan lah aku kata aku baik, cuma ngeri baca orang boleh sampai tahu hal-hal dalam kain sampai macam tuh punya detail. Sekali kau dah kene featured dalam blog tuh, sampai sudah orang tak abis bercerita. Nasib baiklah blog aku ni blog bangang.

Cerita pasal keje, aku baru balik dari course 3 minggu. Course yang company bayar dekat usd6000 semata-mata untuk dapatkan professional certificate. Bagus jugaklah aku kene pilih. Banyak exposure yang aku dapat, dari goverment office sampai lah ke private sector banyak lubang dah aku korek untuk test market.

Aku ada dapat 2-3 offer utk keje. Kenaikan gaji tadelah banyak mana. Tapi aku masih kene timbangkan betul-betul. Ni time recession, silap langkah bungkus aku jawabnya.

Cerita pasal family pulak, Angah baru balik Sabah. Cuti 10 hari, bawak anak balik rumah Mak, sebab anak dia, Kak Long, (anak sorang jer tapi dah panggil Kak Long sebab kononnya train awal-awal untuk dapat adik kata Angah aku. Podah!!) dah rindu betul dengan mak bapak aku. Maklumlah aku rasa dah dekat 3 tahun dia orang tak balik. Kak Long tuh cucu kesayangan Ayah aku. Mau taknya.. kalau orang tua tuh bawak dia pergi shopping mall, dia tak pernahnya nak pergi toys section. Selalu carik buku, or barang sekolah. Itu yang Ayah aku makin sayang. Dahlah kaki bodek. Walaupun umur baru 8 tahun, dia punya kipas bapak aku, mengalahkan kipas bersaiz industrial.

2 hari lepas, Ayah transfer duit kat akaun aku suruh bagi Ajak untuk belikan cucu kesayangan dia laptop. Mak Aiiiiii. Baran jer aku dengar. Kecik-kecik dah dapat hadiah laptop. Aku dulu, umur 8 tahun, kalau dapat pencil case baru itu pun dah kira bertuah. Paling hebat hadiah aku pernah dapat pun ialah basikal Le Run. Tapi itu pun masa umur 11 tahun.

Tak patutlah aku nak rasa jealous ker apa. Tapi tak payahlah Ayah nak belikan laptop, sebab dia tuh kecik lagi. Angah aku memang kaki freeloader. Diamkan jer semua. Orang bagi jangan tolak itu rejeki katanya. Aku rasa cam nak lempang jer. Tapi takperlah. Aku tahu Ayah memang sayang betul cucu dia yang sorang tuh. Dahlah anak sedara aku tuh pandai amik hati, pandai belajar, baik dengar cakap. So okaylah, she deserves it. Aku jer yang jealous tak sudah.

Mr.Snots cakap aku ada sindrom anak bongsu. Can't help but to compare what ever that I have with everyone. He also asked me to count my blessings. Yelah yelah. Tak syior tau. Nak mengada skit jer, asyik kene tarik telinga balik ke jalan yang benar.

Pasal hubungan kelamin (haha cam siak), i mean pasal lovelife, next month banyak betul plan nak berjalan. First week, since Mr. Snots will be working in JB, amiklah kesempatan nak menyeberang tambak. Family aku tak sambut raya haji, so bila dia offer nak pergi Singapore, apa lagi. Angkat skirt lah aku kan? Yahoo.

End of december, we'll be going to East Java for 10 days. Itu pun aku tak sabar, sebab dah lama plan, tapi sampai sudah tade confirmed itenararies lagik. Banyak sangat tempat yang nak pergi, sampai tak boleh nak decide mana nak start dulu. Tapi takper, ada lebih kurang sebulan lagi.

Pasal rerakan, can't wait for Babe's birthday getaway. It has been a long time since kita ada weekend getaway ramai-ramai kan? Tak sabar nak jumpa and spend masa dengan korang. I'll bring the WINE!!!! Toots cakap dia nak bawak beer just for the sake of it, walaupun tempat yang kita nak pergi tuh tade fridge. Tapi aku nak suggest letak dalam sungai jer. Kejap jer sure sejuk. Hehe.

Oh, one last thing before I go, Bangkok huru-hara. Jangan pergi sana. I'm sure semua orang dah tahu, tapi since aku baru tahu, so aku beritahu ler. Aku tahu sebab Mr.Snots pagi-pagi dah beritahu aku sebab dia tahu aku tak tahu. And since aku dah tahu, aku rasa obligated untuk beritahu. Tahu? Tahu kat pasar.

Later fuckers.