I called my mom yesterday's evening to wish her a blessed fasting month of Ramadhan. When she answered my call she sounded normal; well normal like how a mother would be, soft spoken but a bit irritated because she probably had to slowly waddle or stretched/pushed herself to get to her phone.
I asked her my routine sickeningly structured series of questions that came in a predictable sequence ; consisting of health - how is she feeling , wealth - did she strike any number today, about love - is she still annoyed with my dad's constant whining and last but not least her favourite activity - what's special on the menu today.
It was a normal mother-daughter day to day phone conversation, until she said, "wait" and then she was talking to someone at the back, "it's ok, it's ok, don't cry anymore."
At that moment I knew something was wrong.
When she finally turned back to me to resume our daily exchange of self-loathing and boring bits of our lives, I asked her who was it that she was referring to. She explained that all the while I was talking to her, my auntie was crying at the back and immediately her voice turned sombre.
My auntie (Auntie Lah) is one of the closest to me. We grew up together because, age-wise, we are not that far apart. It was heartbreaking for me to have listened to her soft cries.
My mom continued telling me that she discovered that her boyfriend of 5 years, has been married for 9 years. You can't imagine my disbelief and how shocked I was when I heard that bit of a news because it just doesn't make any sense at all.
Let me explain.
We've known him through a family friend who introduced him to my newly divorced Auntie at that time, 5 years ago. We've met his family, nieces, nephews and he came around to our family's house mostly every week, but all this while it was never brought to our attention that he is actually a married man. Not from OUR family's friend, not from HIS family. It is just totally dumbfounding. It is like a conspiracy theory. So, to found out that he's married AFTER 5 YEARS of being in a serious relationship with my Auntie, is a complete electric-kaboom-shock!!. Things just don't add up even when I tried very hard to gel them together.
It is out in the open now and it is better late than never. There's nothing much that we can do about what had happened and it is just a waste of time to lament about it over and over and over again.
I told my Mom to just let her cry until she can't cry no more -until she wears herself out, until she no longer has a voice and has completely drain all her energy out. Just like the last time when she was dumped by her then husband because he was having an affair with a younger woman. I know, just like the rest of us, she is strong and she will rise again from this tragic fall. She will emerge stronger than ever.
But for her to do that, she has to endure this painful phase. She has to go through this on her own and we must make known to her that she has our love and support no matter what. My mom was angry albeit sad by this whole episode. She's the biggest supporter of my auntie's relationship and knowing my mom, am sure she felt a bit responsible towards what had transpired.
I SMSed my auntie before I went to sleep last night.
"No matter what happen, you know you'll have us until the end of time. We love you, and you should love yourself too. Call me when you are done with the crying bit."She was there for me during my meltdown from my previous relationship and I was there for her after her devastating divorce, and we will continue to be there for each other even though it seems that this cycle of tragic relationship ceases to end for all the women in my family.
Left: My mom's. Right: My dad's.
(How do we differentiate the two? My mom's cat is a cam-whore and my dad's cat is very shy. He never really looks directly at the camera)
