Things I don't do anymore and I've become.

I don't watch news on the local TV any more because I'm seriously tired of being bombarded by the politicians images and their endless worthless tireless dramas.

I don't read the newspaper no more because I'm tired of its lop-sided and false journalism.

I don't iron all of my clothes diligently on Sunday any more like I used to back then, because I'm tired of my old self, and my old routine.

I don't go on any shopping spree or spend my money carelessly like how I used to when I was younger, because I realised now that I don't have to own so many things to make me feel happy. I only buy things that are needed and when only necessary. And I would rather spend my money travelling.

I don't drink alcohol at home.

I only buy perfume to replace the finished one. I don't have perfumes collection any more. One in my place, one in Mr.Snots' place. The one that is in my home is depleting fast. *hints*

I don't tolerate well with drama queens and kings. I shut them out more easily now.

I put myself first before everyone else.

If I don't feel like going out, I just tell my friend that I don't feel like going out. Before this I used to try my very best to make the time. Now, am just tired.

I only keep few appreciated ones in my small circle as close friends. Others are just considered as acquaintances, that don't really need my company or attention, vice versa.

I'm more vicious towards my selfish unworthy brothers. (not Along)

I don't care if people are pretentious towards me, because I don't care about them too.

If people talk shit about me, they are going to get it there and then. No more mercy. I have been nice for so long, it is time to stand up for my self.

I feel neglected.

I feel unappreciated.

and most of the time, I feel lonely.

Dear Girlfriends,

Friendship is all about trust. But of course, being human, I've killed a couple of friendships I once had by betraying the trust. I was foolish, and you can say that I was kinda selfish as well.

Trust is earned by being a good friend, being there for your friend when they need it, and also the one that was entrusted upon you when they share their dark secrets, or just secrets.

People can easily blamed and judged their own friends when they thought that their trust and friendship were betrayed. That I fully comprehend. But when it comes to friendship, not all is lost. Some can be fixed given the time and space.

Different people have different perspective and needs when it comes to friendship. Some need it to keep them grounded, some need it as their support system. I need friends because I can't stand to be alone and also partly because I get to be myself when I'm with them.

I have always wanted to be accepted and to be loved unconditionally by my friends. I've always wanted the sort of friends that will be there during high time, and during the time when everything seems to fall apart.

I have that kind of friendship nowadays. Friendship which is more trusting. My friendship with you. If I could freeze those times when you were trying your very best to lift up my spirits when it needed some lifting, and when you were so concern about my well being and my health, and how happy you were to know that I'm happy, I would.

I can't say that I'm a good friend. But I will also try my very best to stay in your loop.

I will try my very best to contribute; be it emotionally, financially, or morally; when needed.

So girlfriends,

No matter how you think that the world is against you and all your surrounding comes crushing down on you, remember that you will always have me. You have given me so much within these past years, the least that I could do is to give you back that love and attention you once poured on me.

I realised that sometimes I can be so harsh. Although I didn't mean to hurt you, but you got hurt any way.

Sometimes I feel mad, angry and sad because I can't just take all your problems away from you so that you could be the person that you were before.

Sometimes, I feel useless because I can't do anything to help you get through any of your problems.

Sometimes, I feel that we should just team up and beat the crap out of everyone that would hurt you. Whether they do it on purpose or not is not the issue. But when I put my thoughts in order, most probably each of us need to beat each other up instead, because somewhere along this friendship, we might have hurt each other without us realising it.

But the best thing about friendship is, you forgive. You let go. Just pray that all bad experiences that we had encountered together have somehow taught us a lesson or two.

All's well, ends well. Trust me.

I love you.

Twisted Tongue.

I have a difficulty in pronouncing certain catchy phrases in English. Especially the ones that could twist your tongue to the extreme.

Like this one;

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

Usually it came out as;

Si shell si shell by the si sor.

Retard. I know.

I can't even pronounce Fish Sauce properly. It came out as Pis Chos instead.

Or;

She saw a saw under the see-saw.

U get the drift right?

My tongue would go numb everytime I have to pronounce the letter S or H, or S and H together in the same word, or S and H within the same sentence.

Cilakak betul.

And since Mr.Snots has somewhat realised this, he would bug me until kingdom comes.

"Dear dear, please make my day and pronounce Fish Sauce! Cepat!"

Bongok!

Some things are better left unsaid II

"Ina!"

"Hoi" aku jawab balik.

"Wah makin tembam kau sekarang!"

"Aku yang dah ada anak tiga nih hah tak gemuk-gemuk! Kau bertambah bulat!" dia sambung lagi.

(Dalam hati: Babi)

Some things are better left unsaid.

True.

Especially when it comes to the matter of heart.

Mak selalu pesan, " Kenapa nak kejar benda yang tak tentu dapat, dan tak pernah nak bersyukur dengan apa yang ada".

Auntie Lah selalu bising. " Orang lelaki time dia orang tengah gila bayang dengan kita bukan nak masuk minang, time kita dah bosan dengan dia baru nak terhegeh-hegeh".

Profound indeed.

Family aku memang selalu macam tuh. Dalam-dalam mencarut dan gelak ketawa, banyak benda yang boleh dipelajari.

(Dalam Hati: Well atleast auntie aku dah kahwin dua kali)

*

Semalam Syu ada tanya. " Kau dengar Hot FM tak pagi tadi?"

"Tak" aku jawab, "Kenapa?"

"Pasal orang bercerai pasal hal yang tak masuk dek akal?. Ada orang cerai sebab tak tahan laki dia tak picit ubat gigi dari pangkal tiub"

"Ah serious?" Aku tanya.

"Yeap, caller tuh yang mengaku dia cerai dengan laki dia sebab dah bertahun-tahun dia cakap tapi laki dia buat tak peduli"

Dia sambung lagi,

"Kalau benda tuh pun dia tak boleh nak buat, benda lain lagilah kan?"

(Dalam hati: Banyak benda yang kene bertolak ansur. Kalau itu tak boleh nak buat, daripada nanti bercerai baik tak payah kahwin langsung!)