One day at a time.

As I look back on my past relationships, I am constantly reminded of all the good things that had happened rather than looking at all the bad things that had lead to my heart being broken.

I always have THAT in me. That sense of forgiveness and trying to look pass bad things as what it was supposed to be..an experience.

My dad once told me that, "If I think about my problems all the time; how to raise you kids, my work and all of those things; I will never be able to sleep at night. I leave all my problems out of my bedroom."

I remembered the day he told me that precious lines. It was when, my brother was kicked out of the university because he got into a fight. I was just..errmm 15 years old, if am not mistaken. If I could recall the moment correctly, he was just sitting on the sofa, after he received that phone call, trying to digest the information. He said, there's nothing much that he could do and he wouldn't want to lament on things that had happened. So he got up, called my uncle and together they went to pick up my brother at the hostel.

At that point, I realised something about my dad. He can easily zone out all the "problematic" part of his life so that he could live life happily for the rest of the day. "One day at a time", he says. "One day at a time."

I'm exactly like him. Things that are not within my control, would usually end up at the back of my head. Not that it would not try to resurface itself every now and then, but I choose to not entertain it.

Running your way out of problems.

I have been receiving many sarcastic comments about my weight for the past few years. I don't think it was ever an issue because my weight fluctuates like crazy. But being 5' 6" (in this country I am considered tall) my weight according to the normal Body Mass Index (BMI) range should be around 65kg plus minus 5kgs. I have always been lean - not skinny. So putting on extra few kilos here and there, people can notice it easily. Not many of them are nice kinda people.

But being busy with work and stuff, I hardly had any time to spare for exercising. Or maybe I was just trying to find an excuse for being lazy. Either way, I wasn't getting my dose of exercise for years.

Few months ago, I started running. Owh..only God knew how painful the experience was. I only managed to run for 5 mins on the treadmill. It was so embarrassing because it made me realise that I wasn't as fit as I think I was. I overestimated myself and I felt so low. It felt heavy. I felt heavy.

From there on, I vowed to not give up. I went to the gym again the next day and hopped on the treadmill and tried running again. I forced myself to not stop running until I reach the 1 km mark. It was such a struggle, I ended up with sore muscles for days.

But the one thing I got from it was the satisfaction of reaching a goal. I wanted to run for 1km and I did. It brought a whole new spectrum of realisations.. on the way I think, the way I feel, the way I look at myself and the way I look at others.

Yeap, believe it. I got it all from running.

Every day I will try to outrun myself. From 1km, I push myself just a little bit more until I have reached a point where 3km is a breeze, 5km is how it should be and 10km is an achievement. Every day is still a struggle, but a struggle that I am willing to endure. I have yet to get that "high" all the avid runners are talking about, but since am not really aiming to run a marathon, so I will keep on running at my comfortable pace for now.

Running helps me to stay focus. What else can you do when you are running? You are on your own. Once I have my mp3 player on, I practically zone out everything else. Without pushing yourself, running alone will bore the hell out of you. Run, but with a goal in mind.

I run when am happy, and I go for a long run when I am feeling down.

I no longer depends on medication to treat my stress level. The feeling and satisfaction I get after a good long run beats any sort of medication. You should try it too. Try it slow, and never give up. Because like they say, it takes two weeks for you to notice the changes, 4 weeks for others.

So don't stop.

The year that was 2011.

The idea of updating a blog is considered passe. Everyone is now either spending more time on Facebook (of which I thought should have already run its course, but apparently not) or Twitter. I am guilty of that too. I joined the Twitter bandwagon some where in June last year (so now you know why I have totally lost touch with this blogging thing), and expressing yourself in 140 characters seems.. well..simpler.

But at the same time, I also blame both platforms because good blogs are hard to find nowadays and are not updated as frequently as I would want them to. That, people, is the hypocrite in me talking.

I hopped on to this site just now because suddenly, I was reminded of my own blog. Gosh how I have totally forgotten about the fact that I used to love blogging about stupid inane stuff. Stuff that I actually appreciate and would want to keep as memories; ok ok most of the time, I was just rambling myself to the end..but the point is; yes I suddenly have this urge to rekindle my relationship with my blog.

There were so many things happening, and am fast becoming forgetful. I can't even, sometimes, remember what I had for breakfast just a few hours after gorging on it. Don't ask me about what I did for the past few months. If I have lied my way out of anything, I might just lie again to cover the lies I once told.

2011 was hard, financially and it was emotionally draining. I worked extra hard last year, and now that I have been promoted, I swear that I would not stay late for work again. LOL.

Nah, I wish. I love my job. Not many can say that, and I consider myself lucky because I stick long enough to finally come to realisation that I actually love my job.

2011 was also the year that many lost friendships were found again. Some was just too awkward, most were just too awesome to let go (again).

2011 was also the year where I got to spend more time with my niece, and family again. Trip back home were more often that years before and I plan to keep on going back to my parents place as many time as possible.

2011 was also the year that I realise that, in this ONE life, sometimes you just have to take it easy. Why worry about things that is out of your circle of concern or control. Roll with the punches, and don't forget to take your hommies with you.

Goodbye 2011, and although I am 3 months late of wishing you a good riddance, and I'm glad that you were there, but honestly, I would never want to repeat the journey again with you.