Someone said this to me recently,
"I can easily see that there was something different about the way he talks to you, every time. Even a blind person could easily feels and detects the vibe. But I guess, you refuse to see it all and treat him nothing more than as a friend."
It is painfully stupid to admit, but I have to say that it's true.
I don't fall in love that easily, hence the 14 years of courtship although it ended rather disastrously.
I'm not trying to be a smug bitch too when I say that, I have my fair share of men, thinking that they are in love with me, or I am the one, after a brief 10 minutes of dancing. It is really tiring to convince them that I am not.
For me, a man with crush is like a dog with a boner. Give them something else to play with, he'd get off from humping your leg. All they ever needed was some sort of a distraction, then am out of the picture. Easy peasy.
But when that crush lasts for more than 5 years, I guess, that is something really worthy of my time, to actually sit and contemplate on it.
In a way, I know I have hurt him so much without realizing it. I was not aware of his feelings, and couldn't care less to actually think before I speak, or do anything a friend would do, like calling him Bongek, Bongok, and says Keji to his face like all the time. At that point, although he was one of my close friends, but he was still just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
But I see him differently now. I could see and have finally realized that ...
He was always there for me for the past years. He was wiling to hear me whine, complaint and entertain my mood swings with a wide annoying smirk on his face. He was always trying to make me laugh every time I was sad. He admitted that he would do almost anything so that he could see me, and that kind of explain the short 30 mins course on stupid programming I was helping him with.
He said he tried to forget about his crush for me, but it was so difficult. He has been in and out of relationship so many times,but the only thing that he could think about was me.
I was flattered, but at the same time I was scared. I don't think I'm ready to do this once again.
He's trying to convince me that he would willing to give me all the time that I need; to move on, to regroup; as long as I would wiling to consider giving him a chance to make me happy. Just once. He had waited for me for 5 years, and he doesn't mind doing it for another 5.
*sigh*
This love thing works it ways mysteriously.
18 comments:
Am very happy for you both. It's about time already.
Now, let's go to karayokay and sing Just Once. Amongst other songs lah hiks. Tekak mak dah gatal ni.
Mak saya ade cakap, its better to find someone who loves you more than you love yourself.
*wink-wink*
*sings Aliff Aziz - Ini satu kisah*
"Tiba-tiba... ku dilamun cinta.. oh oh!" Kekekeke.
suruh je dia tunggu another 5. teehehehe.
it's ur call. it's ur call! be wise.
ingatlah saudari bahawa you are getting older.
hahaha!
bak kata lagu tu, jangan tunggu lama lama, nanti lama lama, cik abang dikebas orang.
Am very happy for you both. Its about time already. (tiru Leen Bakar)
kalau hati dah suka...jalan jer la..insyaAllah everything gonna be alright
Ek eleyyyyy sutreeeeee carik line sendri oi *tunjuk penumbuk*.
Tapi kan uols, aku baca ni cam...bunga-bunga lah. Tapi bila aku baca perkataan "regroup" tu, cam baca kertas kerja GLC nak bagi consultation untuk tiang lampu. Oops. (Tanak lari sebab tak kuasa).
lb: its about time eh? u sure ah? :P
bs: *blush* *selit rambut belakang telinga*... janganlah.. malu. hehehe
janganlah taip kalau malas : yer it's my call. no one gets to decide for me. thanks for the concern btw.
bunny yang perasan farnee: haha siak ko kan? kalau tak kenekan aku muka tumbuh jerawat kah?
eertus: hehe tade identity and originality langsung. asyik tiru leen bakar jer. berchenta kah?
snm: it's easier said than done babe. slowly.slowly.
lb: bongek!! tapi memang betul pun uols, walaupun konteks pemahaman kau adalah ke laut. hhehhehe
love is a many splendid thing!
gives you rosy cheeks too.
mwahmwah
ceria ceria!
xoxo
TooTs
I knwo what Bongok and Keji mean but what is Bongek?
What does *Just Once* entail? A makan-makan, a movie date? Don't tell me he waited 5 years jsut to hold hands with youlah....
and thus far, muka saya masihlah lagi bebas dari jerawat. apakah rahsianya?
vi: Bongek is a past tense of bongok kot. i sesuka hati jer. hahaha i oso dunno uols. Just Once? hmmm i dont have the answer for that actually, but will ask the tuan punya badan.
bunee verangans pretti: ah sebab kau suka mengenakan akulah kau tak tumbuh jerawat. hahaha... itulah rahsia kejelitaan. *bluek*
*clears throat
I did my best,
But I guess my best wasn't good enuff,
Cos here we are,
back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wondering we ought to stay
Or head on out the doooooor ...
take it away Leen - snots is getting s notty :p
pabila kelapangan cik snots, lawatilah blog saya yang lama itu. saya ada kongsi rohsia kejelitaan saya di sana.
marilah mariiii ..
*amek mike from Bang Cips*
Just onceeee
cant we figure out what we keep doingg wrauuungg
Why we never last for very long (wah seswatuh nya tak last long uols)
what are we doing wronggg
Just onceeee (once!)
can't we find a way to finalay make it righttt
Make the magick last for more than just. one. night.
If we could just get to it
I knowwww we could break through it
Juuuusttt onnnceeeee
*tunduk sebab feel lebih*
korang ni saiko tauu.... hahahhaha..
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
tak baik uols - cipan and leen for making me laugh I think the sambal mangga I just had keluar melalui lubang hidung hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hehehe ...
... when I was young and insensitive, we used to call this song (because of the lyrics in the chorus) - Lagu Pecah Dara ... *hiks
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