Think : Somber and Suicidal.

Photo: Standing still.

I received an email this morning from Mr.Snots asking me why the tone of my writings is somber and suicidal lately.

I said that I didn't realise it at all. Then I came back to this blog, browsed through the archive and I finally see that I do sound a bit suicidal. I noticed that my choice of songs have changed dramatically as well. Keith Urban, Eagles, Joshua Radin and Paolo Nutini is on top of the playlist now compared to Stone Sour, Kiss, Kinks, Papa Roach, Three Days Grace and Nine Inch Nails a couple of weeks ago.

So here I am, updating this blog with a hope that as I compose this entry, I might discover what had influenced this transformation in me.

Before this post is published, I have taken a couple of breaks in between, to analyse what's going on. Few things that I understand now, and most important one is the fact that what I write is a reflection of my emotion in that frame of time.

Emotionally, I have been a bit under the weather lately. I don't know how to elaborate on it, but I know that I do feel empty. It felt like - I could have done more with my life and maybe the outcome will be different. You know? I don't feel happy or maybe because am PMSing. But not to forget the fact that PMSing actually emphasize the state that you are in. Things that you think is petty, no longer seems to be small and irrelevant. Things always get blown out of proportion, just like all these stupid chaotic hormones.

Well, let see if after I've done with this rollercoster ride of hormonal chaos, I will be able to atleast not sound so suicidal. For the mean time, bear with me.